How to straighten a warped record.

 

Fixing Australia Post's handiwork

Recently I had the misfortune to receive two shipments from Australia Post containing lp records.  Aside from being expensive and appallingly slow to deliver anything, even across town, Australia Post shows a complete indifference, or perhaps malicious intent, for the welfare of the parcels in its care.  In both cases the records have arrived bent like bananas after having been squashed by other parcels.

The first lp was a record by The Fall which was warped, but still just playable.  I contacted the seller and they gave me a partial refund.  The second lp arrived completely warped out of shape to the point it would not play at all.  Needless to say I was most displeased to have this happen again.  I consulted the AustPost website to see what was ahead of me in terms of making a claim.  It was possible, but it barely seemed the trouble.  The seller offered to send me through another copy, but I didn't think it fair that a small record shop should have to cover the cost of AustPost's negligence.  I therefore thought I would try and straighten the record before making a claim.

As one does, I consulted the internets to see what methodology I ought to employ.  It comes down to about three:

1. Heat the record between two sheets of glass at about a temperature of 80 degrees for 10 minutes or so
2. Press the record down with some heavy books
3. Don't warp the record in the first place.

I immediately ruled out option three as I had passed that point. There were conflicting opinions on option one and it looked risky.  The videos I watched seemed to work okay, but others cautioned against this approach.  I thought I would adopt a cautious approach and try option 2 - weigh the record down with some heavy books.

From the picture above you can see there was nothing scientific about my approach.  I looked about the house for some weighty tomes and placed them on the record. All up the books weighed 11.4 kgs.  After about three days I started to see some results and the record was noticeably straightening.  Encouraged by these early results I persevered with the method and left it another week.

After another check things were looking good, however there was still a noticeable bend.  I decided to try a variation on the methodology as can be seen in the next photo.

A variation on option 2

 

I positioned the record in between two books and above the desk.  I then placed a single book on top of the record against the "warp" in the record.  I did this in one day intervals and checked my progress.  This was quite successful and after a few days most of the warp was gone.  A test on the turntable showed the record was now playable.  It's not perfect and the record's value is nothing, but I don't care about that sort of thing.  As long as I can play the record I'm happy.

So what is that record you say?  It's the self-titled Purple Mountains album from 2019 and to these ears it is one of the best releases of recent years.  A certifiable classic.  Unfortunately there is a lot of tragedy associated with this record with the early passing of its creator David C. Berman - one of the finest lyricists of any generation.  I highly recommend this album.  Until next time - peace and love.

Berlin - August 2016

 At the front door of David Bowie's apartment in Berlin

The greatest word in the English language is German

 

 

To feel envy is human, to savour schadenfreude is devilish.
Arthur Schopenhauer

I've been forced to watch my foes enjoy ceaseless feasts of schadenfreude.
David C Berman

I have mixed feelings about the notion of schadenfreude.  It's the underlying premise of celebrity gossip magazines where the proletariat laughs at the misfortunes of Hollywood stars.  Their cellulite, their divorces and their drug addled spouses.  It's a nasty business.

My love for the word schadenfreude is different and twofold. One is simply the sound of it.  It's so fabulously German!  All those syllables, the sssccchhhh sound; rounded off with that marvelous freude at the end. What's not to love about that? 

Second, I really like how there is no equivalent word in the English language.  Even if we had one it would never be as good as schadenfreude.  It would probably be some dull, mangled term taken from psychology.  English speakers have no option but to use the German word: schadenfreude!

SCHADENFREUDE! SCHADENFREUDE!

And that my dear reader is why the greatest word in the English language is German.

Early morning rain

This morning from about 4.00 am it started to rain here at the Lounge.  This is early for my part of the world and hopefully a good sign of the wet season to come.

The rain was heavy for close to an hour. And as I sit here on my balcony writing this some two hours later, it's still lightly falling.  After months of dry weather the rain is sweeter than it will ever be.

As I could not sleep any longer I shuffled out to the kitchen and made a cup of tea. I made my way out to the balcony to watch the dawn and listen to the rain before the neighbourhood sprung to life so people could go off to servitude and pay their debts.

The rain gently fell.

The Peppermint Lounge returns from its hiatus

 

                                      The Peppermint Lounge amateur radio station - VK8MC

Yes friends it has been a long time since your keyboard worrier has graced the Lounge.  2020 has been quite a year for everyone.  I am one of the privileged ones, living in a safe place and not affected economically by the virus.  Not everyone is as lucky as me and we have several family members who have been enduring lock-down in Melbourne for months.  Some of them seem exhausted by the whole experience.  Friends overseas are in some countries where the virus has killed many thousands.  Anyway, everyone blabs on about the virus so I shall share a bit of what I have been up to in the months since the I last fired up the engines here in the Lounge.  

First, after studying on and off for about 18 months, very half heartedly I must admit for most of that time, I sat and obtained my advanced amateur radio operator licence in March just before the whole shebang.  Wassat you say?  Does this mean Lounge has a radio show playing all his favourite music? I wish! No, it does not and if you look at earlier posts you might have noticed a few technically nerdy oriented radio themed posts talking about aircaraft signals and other bits and bobs.  It just means that I am able to transmit on the radio frequency spectrum legally and communicate with other amateur radio operators around the world.  

I won't attempt to explain amateur radio to you.  Just go to Wikipedia and look it up.  It's just a hobby like any other hobby where people pursue different aspects as they like.  Some people are into the technical side, some like to compete in contests, some collect awards for speaking to rare and distant stations.  I like to do a little of all those things, but I have to admit, I am at the lower end of the amateur spectrum.  Not very good at any of it.  But it is fun learning new stuff and it keeps the brain active (kind of).

Okay, that's my first installment in the back in the Lounge phase of my life.  Let's see how long it lasts before I wander off again.  Until next time, peace and love.